My beloved cat is dead, a fantastic personality and friend is gone and missed
Almost 15 years ago, I bought two beloved cats. One completely black, and one completely white. The black one (Zorro) died under mysterious circumstances likely involving humans, and I mourned for a long time. I then knew that when the other cat, my big white Norwegian forest cat, Simon, died, it was going to be very tough for me. And I decided to never again have cats after that, the loss is just to devastating.
Now, here I am. my cat Simon died. I am so sad. My lovely white cat is dead. It is so empty without him. I miss my dead cat Simon so much. He left an enormous void after him. In life, he was the king of the block, majestic and calm. He died like he lived, as a fighter and decision maker, by himself taking the enormously hard decision to stop living. One morning, he stopped eating, and 6 days later Simon was dead. This was not like Simon. He loved to eat. He loved to be petted. He did not flee problems, not even give ground to dogs. But by some reason Simon decided now was the end. He took the decision that he could not or did not want to live any more. The medicine he got after that was not enough to persuade him, the treatment did not cure him. When food was put into his mouth, he spat it out. The decision was taken and just as for other things in his life, he did not budge from his decision.
His death was expected, yet it happened too soon for me
It did come as a surprise to me. Not that he was old, not that his death was coming closer and closer, but that it happened already now, and that fast. Before he stopped eating, he was still strong, still full of life, still running out and in many times a day. When I saw him the last day on the hospital, where he has spent the 5 days after he had stopped eating, he was so changed. He used to be this joyful and watchful cat, loving food and loving being close, being as watchful as if he was living in the wild. Now he had just lost all interest in life around him, and all strength and movement was gone. He was so weak, there was no life in the eyes, there was no strength, there was no interest. Poor Simon, strong Simon, the courageous Simon. Now barely able to move, not able to stand, not able to walk steady, not interested in anything. The lack of life in his eyes chocked me. There was no immediate deep contact as there used to be.
I had never understood how people could put their pets to death to avoid their suffering
Realizing that Simon had done this to himself, as a conscious decision, made me realise how important quality of life was to him. Simon would rather die than be the old weak cat unable to defend himself or his turf. He did not want to be the weak cat forced to hide or stay inside for protection, allowing other cats and dogs to take over his garden. He had been the king of the block, and he did not see himself living as a poor weak creature. I had been worrying about him having to experience such things. I had worried about my cat getting so weak that he would be beaten outside. I had been afraid Simon should get unable to enjoy his days outside. Now I understood that so had he. Simon had decided that there were some things in life so important to him, that without them, he would not live. He made me change my mind on something that I never had understood: that for some, being dead can be better than being alive. So I allowed him to die, the pain of the last decision to me probably many times stronger than the pain to him in the state he now was in, and also a decision just acknowledging the decision he had already taken, and taken when he was still strong..
The world has ended for my dead cat and too few seem to know or care
And now the world has ended for my dead cat Simon, and too few seem to know or care. Granted, only a part of the world has ended, but for one, for Simon, it ended completely. For him it ended just as much as if it has ceased to exist. Simon's part of the world ended in full. A part of my world did end as well. And no one seem to understand how important this event is. Most people do not even know it has happened. The best cat in the world is dead, a fantastic big white Norwegian forest cat is dead, and everyone acts as if everything is as normal. Most do not even know. I wish everyone knew. I wish everyone cared. At least all pet owners should know, they would be able to understand the pain to me. But not even they would be able to understand how special Simon was. And Simon was a very special cat. Not only to me, but to a lot of people in the neighborhood. Simon was a cat that really managed to make a big footprint.
My missed dead cat Simon did affect the world around him in a positive way
The only thing left for me to do now is to honor Simon's memory, and let time heal my wound. This is in line with the advise I can give for others experiencing a similar loss. I cannot change what has happened. I cannot even change what I regret of what has happened. I cannot change whatever I made wrong, if any, in what happened. Simon is dead, and he remains dead. Whatever was good in his life remains good, and whatever was not remains not. He did affect the world around him. Unluckily, I do not think Simon has any offspring, if he had, he would still be affecting the world through them. As it is, he is affecting the world through his actions, his memory, and thus also through me. He made me change my mind on some things. He did affect the cats around him. Not only by taking some turf, but also by acting differently than cats in common.
Simon did also affect the dog owners. Dog owners that did not normally leash their dogs do leash their dogs around our block. Dog owners who has allowed their dogs to chase cats has learned that even two dogs at the same time may lose to a single cat. They are now much more unlikely to allow their dogs get to the cats (granted, not to protect the cats, but their own dogs, and yet the effect is good for the cats).
Simon made me feel good, I do honor him by letting his effects remain positive
I now have to combine honoring Simon's memory by focusing on the positive things he contributed with. What he did good in this world should remain good. What he did affect positively in this world should remain positive. And he did affect me. He was a fantastic personality and friend. He did make my life so much more joyful. He did comfort me, he did wait for me, he was very close to me. Now it is up to myself, I must comfort me through his memory rather than make myself sad through his memory. I must spread a little of what I have learned from him and about him. I must think how much his affection and dedication and trust and trustability meant for me.
Simon gave me a lot. I gave Simon a lot. Whatever he has gotten from me is now passed. At least passed in his earthly memory. My cat is dead. But some effects may have been passed down from him to others through the way it affected him and he affected them. Now what I got from him must be nursed in the same way. It can still be used to affect me positively, and to affect the world positively (albeit only on a small scale close around me and his surroundings). Still, the chaos theory "butterfly effect" must be so much greater for a great cat.